“Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought: So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.” – T.S. Eliot
At the age of 14 my thirst for scripture was unquenchable.
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Little of it made sense to me then and even less of it now.
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Nevertheless it captures my imagination all the same.
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The fact that there has been a constant flow of people throughout time trying to make sense of God’s will carries some drive to it.
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To this day many are drawn to the idea that there is an intelligent being who governs the universe.
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Whether through a hierarchy of interdependence or a direct force by means of a first mover, there is nothing that little old me can do to prove otherwise.
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Regardless of the countless of souls who feel that their sense of certainty trumps my unknowing, there is a part of me that feels inclined to remain truthful no matter how advantageous and attractive the other side might look.
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That is not to say that there is no divinity or spectrum of deities; it just means that my judgement can’t be limited to a feeling.
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And even though my heart yearns to believe in an all redeeming grace, my intellect stands alone in the desert.
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And actively waits for a dust storm to sweep it off his feet.
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Yet what if the current of the vortex should bring my volition into turmoil?
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How could freedom-of-will be mine to have and behold?
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What if dehydration should deprive my senses?
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Then truth shall slip through the slits of my fingers.
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What makes me think that wisdom can be had through mere desire?
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As though she exists to be penetrated with carnal lust…
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Each layer of skin torn in hopes of placing the throne upon my head…
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The winds blow where they may, regardless of what we have to say.
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So the choice is never ours to begin with.
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Neither the mirage nor the darkness behind the sockets enables us to see.
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But by means of light are we provided with sight that allows us to be.
