God’s Right & Wisdom’s Insight

“Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought: So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.” – T.S. Eliot

At the age of 14 my thirst for scripture was unquenchable.

Little of it made sense to me then and even less of it now.

Nevertheless it captures my imagination all the same.

The fact that there has been a constant flow of people throughout time trying to make sense of God’s will carries some drive to it.

To this day many are drawn to the idea that there is an intelligent being who governs the universe.

Whether through a hierarchy of interdependence or a direct force by means of a first mover, there is nothing that little old me can do to prove otherwise.

Regardless of the countless of souls who feel that their sense of certainty trumps my unknowing, there is a part of me that feels inclined to remain truthful no matter how advantageous and attractive the other side might look.

That is not to say that there is no divinity or spectrum of deities; it just means that my judgement can’t be limited to a feeling.

And even though my heart yearns to believe in an all redeeming grace, my intellect stands alone in the desert.

And actively waits for a dust storm to sweep it off his feet.

Yet what if the current of the vortex should bring my volition into turmoil?

How could freedom-of-will be mine to have and behold?

What if dehydration should deprive my senses?

Then truth shall slip through the slits of my fingers.

What makes me think that wisdom can be had through mere desire?

As though she exists to be penetrated with carnal lust…

Each layer of skin torn in hopes of placing the throne upon my head…

The winds blow where they may, regardless of what we have to say.

So the choice is never ours to begin with.

Neither the mirage nor the darkness behind the sockets enables us to see.

But by means of light are we provided with sight that allows us to be.

About Jason Youngman

An explorer of volition and soul, a song under a night sky and a dream that forever yearns to be.
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